Find the gap between what you say matters and where your life actually goes, and the hidden reason the gap is still there.
About 20 minutes · 4 parts
Use your actual calendar and phone screen time for Part 2. Memory flatters.
1.Imagine your 80th birthday. Three people who know you best each give a short toast about how you lived. What do you hope each one says?
| My top 5 values | What it looks like on an ordinary Tuesday |
|---|---|
Rate where your time and energy actually went last week.
| Value | Ideal hours / week | Actual hours / week | Gap |
|---|---|---|---|
2.What took up the biggest block of your time that isn't on your list at all?
3.Which value gets your best energy, and which gets your leftovers?
Gaps that last usually protect us from something. This is the question most values exercises skip.
4.For your biggest gap, finish this sentence: "If I actually lived this value, I'd have to risk…"
5.What does keeping the gap give you? (Comfort, approval, avoiding a hard conversation, feeling needed, staying too busy to decide…)
6.What will the gap cost you in one year if nothing changes? In five?
7.The smallest visible change that would close 10% of your biggest gap this week:
8.Make it automatic. If (time, place or cue) ________, then I will ________.
9.How confident are you that you'll do it? (If it's under 7, make it smaller.)